What if ????? And the questions go on and on!

Can you imagine yourself walking down this road?  Can you feel what it would be like to have a backpack on and walk everyday for 5 or 6 weeks?  How about meeting new people and making friends every single day?  What would you feel like if you didn't know where you were going to sleep tonight?  And furthermore if you could even get to a place where there is a bed?

These and many more things haunt my mind as I think that next year at this time I will be walking the Camino.  When I am out walking alone I try to think myself there and imagine what I am seeing and how I am feeling.  Most of the time it feels good but every so often fear and I mean real fear edges it's way in.  What if no one understands English.   I have never been that good at languages, maybe it is really the having to remember all those new words.  OOOOOOO! so scary.  I try to use a foreign language now and then and find myself whispering because I am so unsure of my self and fear no one will understand me or they will tell me I have it all wrong.  And it took me so long to just get what I managed to remember.

I have allowed myself to free flow with my thoughts in hopes that I will be able to move them along and discover a whole new set of thoughts.  Preferable happier more confident ones.  :)  This practice of letting go of all my negative thoughts and judgments has been very enlightening.  It is amazing how we learn to be judgmental or critical even when we are trying not to be.  It is like there is a little devil, you know like the one you used to see in movies on your left shoulder when you are about to get into trouble, in me that is hell bent to keep me from being and expressing from my heart only.  Hummmm! maybe he is real after all.  :)

Then there is the thought of this happening, since I am walking in September and October.  I have spent time thinking on when to walk, what time of year would be best for me?  How will I fair being out in the world day in and day out?  What does it feel like to walk in the rain for hours?  What if it snows?  Am I prepared for both heat and cold?  How good am I at suffering in the elements?  Do I even know how to survive?

Each picture brings up more and more questions.  Each picture has stopped the energy of preparation from moving forward while I try to solve all these thoughts.  Sometimes I laugh at myself and remind myself that millions have walked this path just fine and I will too, that is if I can keep my mind out of it.  :))))))))